A PRAYER BEFORE DYING

 

A PRAYER BEFORE DYING

Aleksandra Zapeca was a Russian soldier in World War II who wrote a prayer just before he died in battle.  It was found in his vest pocket.  Because the communist Soviet government was violently atheistic the prayer was hidden for many years, and finally clandestinely published in October 1972.  The well-known Franciscan Capuchin preacher of the papal household, Father Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap, read the prayer when he gave a retreat to the Pope and his Curia.  It is reproduced in a collection of his retreat talks in “Jesus Began To Preach; The Mystery of God’s Word.”

A friend gave me the book and I was very moved by the prayer.  For this reason I would like to share it with you.  As you read it, remember that this young man, raised to be a communist and an atheist, wrote this in the expectation that he would shortly die in battle.

Listen, Lord!  Not once in my life have I spoken with you,

but today I feel like celebrating you.

You know, since I was a child they always told me that you did not exist.

And foolish me, I believed it.

I have never contemplated your works,

but tonight from the crater of a grenade, I looked at the sky full of stars above me

and, fascinated by their brilliance,

I understood all at once how terrible deceit can be.

I don’t know, Lord, if you will give me your hand

but I’m speaking to you and you will understand…

Is it not strange that in the midst of a fearful hell a light appeared to me

and I saw you? 

Apart from this, I have nothing to say to you.

I am happy simply because I have known you.

We must attack at midnight,

but I’m not afraid, you are looking over us.

There’s the signal!  So I must go.  How good to have been with you.

I want to still tell you, and you know it, that the battle will be tough.

Perhaps even tonight I will be knocking at your door.

And even if I have not been your friend until now, when I come,

will you let me in?

But what’s happening, I’m crying?

My Lord, see what’s happening to me.  Only now do I begin to see clearly.

Help, Lord, I’m going…I will probably not return.

How strange, now I’m not afraid of death.

 

The grace of God is not limited.  Even after a lifetime of atheistic indoctrination, this young soldier suddenly found God when he looked into the sky and contemplated his impending death.  May God give each of us such faith.