CHARACTER MATTERS

People normally act according to their character. No one is surprised when a person of good character does or says a good thing, and a person of bad character does or says a bad thing. It is almost expected of him or her.

Character as I am using it is the aggregate of distinctive qualities which a person exhibits in his or her language and choices. It is built up over time; a child is not born with a character, but develops it. The child’s character is shaped in large measure by his or her environment, and especially by the influence of the parents or whoever takes their place in raising them. Education, natural abilities and deficiencies, and experience make a strong impact. However, I believe that the most important element in the shaping of a person’s character is the moral choices that he or she makes. A person does not have a good or bad character because of someone else, but because of his or her moral choices.

When everything is considered, we are responsible for who we are. God has given us free will, and although we have no control over many things that happen to us, we do have control over how we react to them. If this were not so there would be no difference in the character of persons raised by the same parents, in the same circumstances, with the same natural abilities. Yet we know that there are significant and often dramatic differences in them. What is the cause of their differences? Their use of their freedom to make choices.

We are ultimately responsible for shaping our own character. We make who we are. Here I am speaking about the type of person we are by the moral choices that we make. I insist on our freedom to make them. One’s physical abilities, health, level of education, and opportunities for advancement may be greater or lesser than what other people enjoy. They all have their influence. Others may have more or less advantages than me; it may be harder, or easier, for me to develop a good character. But no one can make me bad without my assent. My character is ultimately determined by my response to what has been presented to me, and where I have chosen to take the initiative. What have I pursued? Was it the good, or the bad, or a mixture of good and bad, as it is for most of us sinners.

If we are going to be better, happier persons, it is important for us to take responsibility for who we are. I need to accept that the person who I am today was built by my choices. There may be explanations for why I made those choices, and who could blame me for some of them? Forget the regrets! But let me realize that I am the major player in shaping who I am today. If I blame others for all that is bad in my character – a propensity to anger, lust, self-hatred, avarice, cynicism, addiction, whatever – I will remain trapped by these vices. But if I realize that I have the greater part of the responsibility for allowing these things to develop in my character, then I can turn to Christ, and ask his help to be free of them. I can repent, forgive those who hurt me if necessary, and receive healing from God. I can also be grateful for all those who helped me. I can be grateful for the good which God has allowed me to develop, and seek his help to be free of the bad.

We cannot develop a good, or to use a theological term, a righteous character, without the grace of God. But He cannot develop it in us without our cooperation. He can do this when we take responsibility for who we are, thank God for it, and by prayer, repentance, discipline and practicing good habits grow into the happier, more righteous person whom God has made us to be.

FATHER SCOTT